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Nerd-dating: A Goofy, Unconventional Dating Scene

Dating as a geek is going to be different than dating your average human, no matter what gender you are. The Internet has done a pretty good job of erasing geographic boundaries, and things like social networks and dating apps are making life more convenient for the tech-savvy. Today’s dating sites are like the social networks of the 19th century: they’re places for people to interact, find friends, and gain insight into other lifestyles and opinions. But the sites are also like the cemeteries of the 19th century: they’re places for people to bury dead relationships and think about the state of their lives.

Dating in general is filled with pressures and emotions and expectations that often go together. But geek dating is an additional layer on top of that, and for good reason: nerds are much easier to relate to than non-nerds, and geek dating offers deeper similarities and fewer barriers between potential mates. Rather than have to adapt to your partner’s interests, nerds can talk to their potential matches about their own geeky interests. The normal dating pressures and anxieties don’t apply the same way.

Popular Nerds to Find on Dating Apps

Even if you aren’t a geek yourself, you can still enjoy the benefits of geek dating. Here are a handful of the more popular nerd-dating apps and websites out there: If you have a crush on someone you met on an Internet dating site, is the place to be. Over 12 million people have used to find love, and it’s a pretty good-sized website. The service has been around since 1997, so the site’s an oldie, but still a goodie. They’ve also recently released a new iPhone app and have pledged to release a new Android app in the coming weeks.

OKCupid: It’s free to create a profile on OKCupid, but you’ll pay to contact other users and get matched with them. Personally, I like OKCupid because I’ve found it to be quite friendly, and the site is a little more open-minded than others. Of course, that also means you’ll have to fend off trolls and other annoying people, but I’ve yet to be creeped out on the site. I did have my worst date ever on OKC
First, look for cues from your potential partner to try to get an idea of their personality. Since the first moment you meet someone, your subconscious is registering a lot of information about them: everything from their build and facial expression to the way they shake your hand. If you get the sense that your date feels creepy or intrusive, then it’s a good idea to back away.

A little tip for guys: Women don’t just subconsciously read people; they also subconsciously pick up on a guy’s body language. If you’re feeling nervous or a little self-conscious, keep your arms and legs uncrossed. If you start to feel uncomfortable, uncross your legs. If you slouch or shuffle your feet a lot, it may mean you’re uncomfortable.

You’ll know you’re onto something when you start feeling relaxed and comfortable around your date. If you’re not sure what his body language means, then look for telltale signs. If you notice that your date is glancing at your mouth and not paying attention to you, it could mean you’re not making eye contact enough. Make sure he really is listening to you, or he’s just playing footsie. When you’re getting to know someone, try not to automatically question his motives. Give people the benefit of the doubt, even if you don’t know them.

Whether you’re meeting a guy at a bar or a party, your energy can make or break a first date. If you’re feeling relaxed and comfortable with your date, you’ll be more likely to engage in the conversation. If you’re not sure whether you’re making a good first impression, try to relax, and don’t try too hard. It can help if you’re at a loss for words, or have something important to say. For example, it’s a great idea to ask “How was your day?” or “What do you do?” to get you off the hook.

But what happens when you meet someone you like, and he’s a total douche? Well, don’t be afraid to gently push back. You’re not being rude, you’re just being honest, and it’s possible that your date is unintentionally putting you down. Remember, you don’t know him or what he’s going through right now. Sometimes people are shy or awkward. They don’t have a great track record for dating and may not want to send mixed signals or make you uncomfortable. Your gut instincts are usually pretty good at telling you if someone is not