Khloé Kardashian

Weigh and assess your strengths, weaknesses, and qualities that you want to share with a potential date, whether it be a person you met at a bar or an acquaintance. You can prepare by browsing a list of cute and creative compliments to make your conversation that much more entertaining—or sexy—but you should keep in mind that the date is ultimately about getting to know someone, and you may be wondering if they’re worth opening up to. Here’s how to do that.

Rule One: Be honest with yourself—even if you’re not sure how others will respond

The first rule of personal engagement is honesty. This may sound funny, but it’s true. Most of the time we all say we want to be honest with people, but the truth is: We can’t help it. We lie because we’re human, and that’s the way it works, so try to enjoy the ride and be honest with yourself in the moment.

One of the best ways to be honest is to acknowledge that you, as a person, have some things that you’re not proud of, or that you’d rather forget. The simple act of admitting to yourself that you’re not perfect is one of the best things that you can do to become a better person.

Rule Two: Think about why you’re there, and what you want out of your date

Ok, so, maybe you’re going out to a bar and really don’t know that person, but you’re feeling like a conversation will be easy and enjoyable. Or maybe you’re going on a first date with someone you barely know and you’re feeling nervous and like you could use a few tips on how to relax, so you called some old friends who told you to “relax. Have a blast,” and now you’re standing in front of this person with nothing to say. We all fall into these situations, and we’re all guilty of being irrational and not having a good time. While that’s certainly understandable and will never keep you from liking someone, it is something that you’ll want to address before engaging in conversation with someone.

Rather than spending time mentally toying with having the worst day of your life, instead you should think about the reasons why you’re there, what you hope to get out of a relationship, and what characteristics you’d want to see in a person that you’re open to dating. One of the best ways to do that is to keep a journal. Keep a journal for a week, and
Before you can get in the dating game, you have to be able to distinguish between a genuine date and your average bullshit Facebook friend, creepy Myspace contact, or a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who doesn’t care about you because she thinks she’s helping the guy she’s out with find a date—and there is a lot of that, believe me.

The first rule of dating is to know your own worth. If you are attracted to a particular person, that person will probably be attracted to you. If you think you’re a catch, then you are. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon, but you do have to know your own worth. The gold star, bitch-ass way to do this is to make sure you have a job and/or are contributing to society in some way. You can then go from there: If a good-looking heterosexual man is attracted to you, he will probably ask you out on a date, no matter your job, bank balance, or number of friends.

It’s also worthwhile to know yourself—in particular to your own strengths and weaknesses. If you are a naturally good conversationalist, you can up your status as a date that much more. If you like to read, have a shelf full of books, and are one of the few people I know who can go through a whole month without setting an alarm on their phone or computer, you might find yourself a little more desirable than someone who doesn’t share your interests.

The second rule is to get out there. Stay off Facebook and Myspace, and get to know your new city and people. This is not your mom’s “just friends” and “be careful of the boys” rules. Go on lots of dates. Ask lots of questions: Questions will tell you a lot about a person, and they can also open doors to conversation and conversation leads to understanding and eventually to genuine, long-lasting relationships.

Finally, find a new hobby—one that you’re passionate about. Not a hobby that’s lame, like knitting—which is something I, for example, have done in the past—but something that inspires you and your inner badass. For me, it was becoming a tattoo artist and having a stab at design on art that I created and tattooed myself. I’m an artist now, and I’m more ambitious, confident, and happy in life. It all started with a hobby.

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