Photo by HackWeber
1. Get to Know Yourself
If you’re approaching a first date with someone, chances are you have a huge list of things you want to talk about. You want to learn all about your date’s interests, what they’re most passionate about, and if you have any similar interests. But what if you only have a minute or two to talk about everything? That’s too short a time frame to dive into your list of questions, and if you try to pull up all the specifics right away, you’ll probably make a fool of yourself. If you let go of your list of topics for now, you can always make it more important to you later. You can talk about how cool the restaurant is, how pretty the girl is, or any other factoid that you find interesting.
2. Ask a Question
The best kind of questions are ones where you can’t possibly anticipate the answer. A perfect example of this is the “subjective” question. You might ask, “How do you feel about the presidential election?” And the other person can say anything they want, like, “I’m pulling for Clinton,” or “I think this is the most important election of our lifetime.” Now, you can follow up with, “What do you think of Obama?” or “What do you think will win?” The idea here is that you are no longer factoring for what your date wants to say. Instead, you’ll allow the person to talk about whatever he or she wants.
3. Ask a Question About Them
“But if I just ask questions about them, I may not be able to open them up to talking about themselves,” you may be thinking. “What’s the point in getting to know my date if I can’t get them to talk about themselves?” The point is this: If you approach a first date with someone by asking them questions about themselves, you might be able to get them to open up to you, and you’ll find a way to truly connect. For instance, if you ask someone on a first date, “What do you do?” they may answer with a boring job (or, as in my case, a college major that they don’t like).
But if you ask, “What else has been fun for you recently?,” the answer may be “taking this class.” Or, “What do you hope to get out of your college experience?,” and they answer with, “I want to http://www.singles-personals-ads.com/articles/how-to-have-sex-on-hookup-apps-nsa-affairs-tutorial
Choosing a venue
It doesn’t matter whether it’s your first date or fifth, you can increase your odds of a good time by knowing the lay of the land. Here are a few tips to help you find the place that best suits you:
1. First, find out where the popular places are going to be. Look for a spot to avoid the “football team bar,” “hardcore sports bar,” and other preferred hangouts of your potential date. You don’t want to show up at a spot that has already been pre-empted by sports fans. You want to play it safe and avoid someone who already looks down on your love of Can’t Hardly Wait or light-up sneakers.
2. Next, find a bar or restaurant that is likely to have a diverse clientele. You want to go to a place that has a wide range of people with a variety of looks and interests. You want to go to a place where it’s likely that your date will feel like he or she fits in.
If you have no idea where to start looking, a list of popular places frequented by your demographic can be a great place to start. You can go to your local coffee shop or bookstore and ask the staff for recommendations. Or, you can Google “where to meet people” for a list of popular choices. You might even want to consider the advice of your friends, since they are likely to know people in the community.
3. Now that you have a list of popular places to choose from, it’s time to narrow down to a number of venues. You might be tempted to choose the place that has the best ambiance or the friendliest staff, but chances are, you’re forgetting to take other factors into account.
You want to get away from noise and chaos, if only for a short period of time. You want to find a bar or restaurant that has booths and table seating, rather than a sea of standing patrons. You want a place that has a good atmosphere and a couple of decorations that make you feel like you’re somewhere other than your place of residence. If your future mate is allergic to windows, you probably shouldn’t go to an industrial-looking establishment.
4. While the venue of your choice is a good start, it’s also good to have a backup plan. Knowing that you have a backup plan can be the difference between a delightful date and one that makes you feel like a loser. If your first